Where's Wally?

Walrus Gumboots has been M.I.A. thanks to Blogger’s ability to fuck up even a free lunch.

So, in an effort to track our friend down I went undercover and searched high and low for him.

First, I followed him to the World Series game. I have never been into sports, but I gotta tell you, I’m starting to see the attraction.


Later that night I found him at home cyber-sexing with “Destiny42.”


The following day they decided to meet. Wally seemed confused meeting “Destiny” for the first time in person…


After that, he took off for France for some rest and relaxation on the Parisian beaches.



When he came back to the States he decided to go visit some of his old buddies in the Military.


Then I saw him at the Lamplighter ‘hanging out’ with those fags Guy and Alek and a bunch of their friends. I think this may be what sent him over the edge.


I don’t want to talk about what I saw there that night…all I will say is that I can never look at a totem pole the same way again.


The last time I saw Wally, he was checking into a ‘therapeutic community’ (i.e., crazy farm) for a mental leave of absence. He is undergoing electroshock therapy and a frontal lobotomy. He said this was his last ditch effort to “regain sanity.” I tried to explain to him that you can’t get back what you never had.


Meh, sanity is overrated anyway…electroshock sounds fun, though.

You can send cards and presents to him at 'New Beginnings' Mental Health 'Facility'...no pointy objects like pens, things with sharp edges or toothbrushes that can be filed down into a knife.